(no subject)

[windemere]

Could someone explain Twilight to me? Because it seems these days that people are crossing it with everything and I remain ignorant as to why.

Ta.

I am going to be better tomorrow. I am going to be better tomorrow. I am going to be better tomorrow.

Comments

[grav-ity.livejournal.com]

Bella is a beautiful, clumsy, new kid at some tiny school in northern Washington State. She is IMMEDIATELY popular and all the boys want her. She is sort of not interested in anything, except how much she wishes she lived somewhere cooler.

Edward is a vampire. Who sparkles in direct sunlight. And Bella's blood is PERFECT for him, so he is REALLY ATTRACTED to her, but he has a soul, so he avoids her so he won't be tempted to eat her.

Edward has a "family" of vampires, most of whom are dating each other. They love Bella, because she is SO DAMN AWESOME.

Charlie is Bella's father. He pays for stuff.

Jacob is a native American boy who was turned into a werewolf along with a bunch of him friends due to the proximity of the Cullens (that would be Edward's family). He thinks Bella should not date Edward. Until the fourth book, this made him the only character with a brain.

Edward leaves Bella (because she cut herself at her birthday party and he WANTED TO EAT HER), and she gets all depressed and takes drugs and tries to kill herself and is even more not-caring about everything than usual.

Then she decides Edward should turn her. He says he'll only do it if they get married, so they do (when she's 18, obvs.), and then they have a MAGIC BABY who is named after, like, EVERY CHARACTER IN THE BOOK, and then Jacob IMPRINTS ON THE BABY (who grows fast, because of her magic), which loses him "brain" status, and then they all live (die?) happily ever after.

STUPIDEST. BOOK. EVER.

But moronic children (and their moronic mothers) LOVE IT because Edward is SO DREAMY and he loves Bella SO MUCH and they are SO DESTINED FOR ONE ANOTHER even though they are both MORONS.

[eldanna.livejournal.com]

And now I want to vomit.