The Philisophical Works of a Pseudo Author

If so, I apologise. My quietness stems from hours spent on the computer tracking down historical sources, show episodes and random other links to compile all the information I need to NOT WRITE A FIC. I know, it's a lost cause at this point, but I am going to keep railing against the inevitable until I write the first sentence.

Which may or may not be tomorrow.

In other news, completely unrelated, we have a new CD on at work, despite my attempts to the contrary, that plays theme songs from various movies, one of which is 'May it Be' and it's killing me. How is it that, ten years on, just thinking about this can still bring me almost to tears? IN THE MIDDLE OF WORK! I have taken to changing the CD as soon as the track comes on to the other soundtrack CD which is instrumental and contains things like Dragonheart and Legends of the Fall and does not make me want to curl up on my sofa and watch 12 hours of film.

Well, not as much.

This month is going much better than expected. Except of the job market.

I had a lot of free time this summer. In hindsight it was more than I thought I'd have, and it's probably why parts of the summer seemed to drag along forever. By now I've already forgotten what free time feels like. I haven't had a day to just veg and do whatever appeals since I got back to Burlington. And you know what's really strange, is that I like it.

Keeping busy and having multiple projects and places to be is very motivating. I'm gearing up my social life again! There are people who live nearby that I'd all but forgotten about. Now there is coffee and dinner!

Of course, there is PhD proposing and applications and references and research. And retail work to pay the bills (or at least the gas). Also, I'm officially on board as a consultant for the local museums for a virtual exhibition funding bid. I won't get paid unless it's a success, but talk about incentive! I'll be doing project management stuff and heavily involved in lesson plans for the bid with one of the museum educators. I'm absolutely thrilled to have been asked, even before I got back to Burlington. I'm also getting into the educational programs at the museum for the school year. Lots of things to do and great fun. And of course, I'm still applying for jobs and *hoping*.

I've decided come January, after the funding bid and applications for the PhD are in that I'm going to find something else to do that makes me money. I'll hate it, but MONEY! Probably start temping or get a job as personal secretary. I've got the experience; years of it, in fact. Not much, but better than retail post Christmas! I also plan on intensive French tutoring. Yes, I've caved. But if it gets me a $80,000 job in Ottawa or Toronto by the time I'm 40, it's worth the blood and tears. Yes, that's my new mantra. I just have to figure out how to pay for it, but if I had a full-time temp job, I'd have the money at least month for month. No rent to pay in the coming future, unless a job outside Burlington/Hamilton appears. Also thinking of maybe doing some volunteer work in Hamilton come the winter, but that'll depend on how busy other things keep me. It would only be until September (HOPEFULLY!!!)

I am trying to forget that I just paid my car insurance and I'm $1200 dollars poorer (hard to believe poorer is possible). Pretty much that was my summer income, right there. I'll have to start putting away for next year this Christmas too. That's about the only negative thing right now, however, so I'm calling this weekend a win. Hopefully the week too.

Exam tomorrow. We'll see. But after that? No school for 12 months! (Except French)

Sometimes I wonder where I went wrong in life. Which is a bit pointless really, since time travel doesn't exist and I couldn't go back and correct my mistakes anyways. And it's even more pointless since I can pin-point exactly where it was that I followed the sign that said 'easy life' rather than the preferred route of 'buck up and find your courage'.

I'm being philosphical today. My 22 year old cousin just got back from a month in Uganda digging wells (or something). Her 24 year old sister leaves next week for Tanzania to...teach English (or something). She also plans to do a PhD sometime before she's 30.

I WANT OUT OF THIS COUNTRY. AND TO DO SOMETHING BRILLIANT WITH MY LIFE.

1. I love this town. I went into the bank today (TD) and went to the teller to deposit my first pay cheque. I have this thing: if there is no line up at the tellers, I hate using the machines. I would rather speak to a person. Anyway, I get up there and I hand over the cheque and tell her I’d like to deposit it. Then I swipe my card. At this point the account comes up on her screen which says my branch is in Burlington. She asks me ‘so, are you working up here for the summer?’ to which I say yes. Then she looks at the cheque. ‘Oh, you’re working for Randy. How’s he doing?’ I take this completely in stride. ‘Not bad’. Then she asks what I’m doing for him for the summer. ‘Painting the new boat’. ‘Oh’, she says ‘and how’s that coming along?’ So we have this whole conversation.
*As a note, Bracebridge has a population of 16,000 (in the winter). It’s not that small. Except obviously it is.

2. This is going to sound crass, but I saw my first obese ten-year-old today. And all I wanted to do was turn to her also obese father and say ‘child abuse much?’ The girl weighed more than I do. (No posted comments about my weight, please)

3. I passed the first convoy headed to Huntsville today (not the first, but the first I’ve seen). You could tell, what with all the diplomatic licence plates...and the shiny tour bus. I just don’t get what they were doing on 118. Huntsville’s up 11. It was a big convoy too; at least a dozen cars and the bus.

4. The McDonald’s in Huntsville was evacuated today because of a bomb threat. My reaction to this is ‘lol, that’s the best you can do?’ It’s a McDonald’s, by all means bomb it to hell. (Except, of course not with people in it.)


Kate: I keep watching that Brand New Day vid you introduced me to. I don’t know why, but it’s made me fall in love with Eleven. And not in the way you’ll like. And Amy crosses her arms almost as much as I do. I never noticed.

So, I have this interview today. My first interview in, like, three months (despite the number of job applications having not decreased). That in itself is nerve-wracking enough. But I only found out Monday night that I have it this morning and they asked for a presentation on the creative economy in Muskoka.

Firstly, I don't live in Muskoka.
Secondly, I didn't know anyone up here even knew what the creative economy was, as it's rural and that sector of the economy is still mostly an urban thing.
Thirdly, presentation in a day?
Fourthly, I worked all yesterday (Tuesday).

I have decided I will not do something artistic or powerpointish. I am simply going to go and talk, because I read all last night anything I could find on the internet, including the organisation's website and links. So I feel I'm as prepared as a few hours of time can give me. If 'talking' isn't artistic enough for them, clearly I'm not right for the job anyways. I did get the sense from the job description that they wanted something with an arts background (by which I mean, art as a subject, not a discipline). Still, they're giving me an interview, which puts them up there in my book.

I just don't want a repeat of the Science Centre debacle. My ego can't take that kind of bashing again. At least I got the first interview slot. I always think going first is best. At least when it came to presenations at school.

Oh, must be off! Long drive in the rain. :(

ETA: Well, that was interesting. A good interview, I think, but I know I'm severely lacking in experience that they want (need) and it would completely screw up the summer job that I've already agreed to and trained for.

KBO = "Keep Buggering On" and it's going to be my new catch phrase. I feel it justifiably fits my life.

So, it's May. I used to love May. May meant great things and school was almost over and the cottage was going to be opened and summer was just around the corner. This year I don't give a flying fuck. It's just another month of being virtually unemployed, horribly underpaid, and horribly abused as a volunteer. I've written this month off already. The weather is lovely and I have nothing to do. In related news, I've buggered up my left foot and pretty much can't exercise worth a damn, so even that level of boredom relief has been snatched from me. I'm going to sit around the house and feel sorry for myself and hope by June that I can walk again.

I'm taking the boat job in Muskoka. It isn't great, but it can pass on my CV has culturally related to something-or-other. It pays $12 an hour and I'm guaranteed (I HOPE) 25 hours a week. That's more money than I made even in December. And it'll be till the end of September, maybe even into October depending on the weather. And it's only 4 days a week. Which leaves me 3 other days of the week to do all the work around the cottage that no one else is going to do because they've all decided they aren't going to Muskoka this year. Apparently there are more important things.

So, that's pretty much my summer. Work like crazy for 4 days out in the sun on the lake, work in and around the cottage on various things the other 3 days. Write a bit, read a lot, paint a picture or two (where am I going to hang these things?) and all around ignore the next thirty odd years or so of my life. It's a plan, at least. It's not a great plan, but I live for any type of plan that doesn't involve being homeless or unemployed.

I'm going to go broke on food and gas at Muskoka prices. But hey, maybe I'll get tips!

I am trying very hard not to think about Thanksgiving.

I found the perfect job on CHIN that pays well, sounds interesting, that I'm qualified for, that's in Ontario and that *requires the applicee to be bilingual*.

FUCCCCKKKKKK.

So, apparently I've been ignoring LJ. I recently started keeping a handwritten journal again, because I was a little worried how out of practice I was getting with writing instead of typing. I used to keep about 6 journals at once and never got bored filling all of them, but I don't have the attention span for that anymore. Or the time.

It's been an interesting 7 days. It didn't start well (last Monday will live as a day I'd rather forget ever happened), but it ended pretty damn awesomely. (Is that a word?) The party I hosted on Sunday went really well, and I definitely impressed everyone. I really can do hostessing well. If only I could make a career with that, although I'm sure someone has. I've got a fair amount done at the museum this last week too, including walking in to the Volunteer Coordinators Office and telling her I was appointing myself Volunteer Coordinator's Assistant. I'm now organising the volunteering schedule for the Easter Day Egg'spectacular, which means a lot of shuffling, a lot of phone calls, and a lot of me standing up and telling people what they are doing (instead of letting them decide). It's going to look fantastic on my CV.

I will also be starting next week with inventorying (?) the costume collection with an actual conservator, so I will hopefully be learning lots and maybe between the two of us we can make things better, because the way it is now? - So not good.

Tomorrow evening I am off to my cousins' in Toronto for the night and then to the AGO to see the King Tut exhibit finally! Considering how mad my cousins' lives are, I'm really impressed they got around to inviting me, but it's great of them. My 'baby' cousin has been missing me terribly, apparently, which I find amusing since I saw her 3 months ago and before that it'd been 2 years, but you know how 12 year olds can be...It will be nice to see her for a bit and then spend an enjoyable day with my cousin Amme, who is certainly the only person on the face of the planet who understands me (including the Aunt).

There is an open bottle of wine in the fridge that has to be drunk. Isn't that a right shame?

In 4 weeks I will be wandering Hadrian's Wall. :D

I had a rather productive weekend, if by productive you count the number of photographs taken(212). And, best of all, I didn't spend a dime on any attractions. The tourists in London have yet to figure out that if the admition charge is £12, it's not worth it. I have such information on good authority. So instead of spending the £8 to get in to the HMS Belfast, I took pictures of it from all side. Instead of spending £6 on the gramped and very crowded Tower Bridge exhibition, I avoided it and took pictures east and west along the Thames. In order to not go broke I didn't shell out £14.50 to see the Crown Jewels, because wgaf? The Imperial War Museum is free (and the exhibition which wasn't didn't interest me). The que for Westerminster was too blood long, and Jewel Tower (or whatever it's called) looked boring in the 'I've hiked these archaeological sites before for free, why would I pay to see crumbling walls?'. And, of course, Whitehall is a road...so that's free. As is the National Gallery.

In total, I shelled out £2 to climb Monument. Worth it for the view, which is just as good as the Eye, and £13 cheaper. 311 steps. Holy Gods...it's near twice as high as Trajan's!

I did spent £4 of a smoothie from Starbucks because I was very hot and it was there. And I had McDonald's for lunch on Saturday because I had a craving, you know? Also because it was cheap, and it's the only thing around Trafalgar Square that is.

I am not doing work right now. I took a crack at writing a marketing paragraph for the newest CT project, but it's crap and I think it's going to take EL more time to fix it than it would have for her to write it in the first place. Only 14 other paragraphs to write! Shite.

Have exhausted the online episode availability of Highlander and Mutant X. Wondering what other crap Canadian sci-fi shows I can watch? Wait, don't answer that, there's things like Andromeda that exist. But I've watched some of that lately too, though only for certain actors (and not Kevin Sorbo). Have hit bottom!

In other news, I LOVE LONDON.

Almost literally, but mostly figuratively, as it were. I'm not really an amusement park type of girl, but I've been to Wonderland and I enjoy a good day out with good friends. And I do, occasionally, enjoy a good whirlwind rollercoaster ride.

I should rethink the definition of 'whirlwind' clearly.

( Thoughts on Three )