The Philisophical Works of a Pseudo Author

Occasionally, I really hate this PhD thing. I've spent a lot of time this last week doing the 'thinking thing', as we call it. Which means it doesn't seem like I've gotten much done, but I've gone through and discarded (or kept) a bunch of questions/theories/ideas/stray thoughts regarding my work. Which is what my supervisor told me to do.

Unfortunately, all of those things rather contradict each other or don't at all mesh into a cohesive research project, so now I'm just really annoyed and worried and, mostly, annoyed. This made so much more sense a year ago. And I know that's normal, because everyone who has donea 2nd year of their PhD tells me they had no idea what they were doing until they got to 3rd year. But it makes me no less annoyed that I can't seem to get any ducks in a row. I'm not entirely sure they are even all ducks. They are certainly not all in the same pond. Or, possibly, even the same county.

And it's - FINALLY - raining. I have never been so happy about rain!

On the upshot, Hobbit starts at Phoenix next week, so it's 6.50 for a 3D film (though not 48fps). I shall go alone and not give a care.

Also, in other news, I am desperately hoping the flat I want for July is actually available (waiting to hear back). I've decided that once I turn 30 I really need to be living on my own, as I have never actually lived on my own before, except on rare occasions my parents were away and I was housesitting for them, which doesn't count in my book. I want my own place. It's going to cost a bloody fortune, but I've come to terms with that. I'm not travelling in November like I thought I would, so that's a month's rent available right here! Still, fingers crossed and all that. I need out of this house. It's frakking cold for one and Arvind is going deaf, so I repeat everything I say three times and can hear the telly from any room in the house. Having dealt with this with my parents, I'm really over it. Too bad, since this house is - I MEASURED - the closest a person can live to the main U of L campus. Guess I'll be walking more come July. By which time I will either be incapable of walking or in the best shape of my life. 50/50 chance either way.

I would really like to spend a few days on a beach. And I have never wanted to spend a few days on a beach. You don't realise how soul crushing being cold ALL THE TIME is. The house hasn't been above 15 in 17 days.

I think I just discovered an allergy to pears. Or maybe just that specific type of pear, which I don't think I've had before. Soon as I ate it I had a really strange taste in my mouth and my tongue is a bit...tingly and feels rough (not swollen though!) Like after I eat kiwis...which is why I don't eat kiwis anymore (though I love them).

Huh, guess I'm like Ten?

In other news, last night down the pub was brilliant! Fish and chips (in fake newspaper on a plate) and Guiness and Baileys (oh my!) and great friends. Gave up at 10ish go to head home (in the rain), because I was falling asleep! Got in bed, put my headphones in and...woke up at 3:45am tangled in said headphones. Wow, that's never happened before. I always hit the end of my play list before I fall asleep! Feeling rested today, though still tired. A few articles to read (well, more than a few), will try to eat a bit healthier than the mass amounts of fat I've had the last 2 days, and if that sky gets brighter I may go for a long walk too. And pilates. Least I did the cleaning, though laundry has been put off until tomorrow on account of not caring (and still having clean work-out clothes for today).

I am looking forward to having a washing machine in a house. [Though not a dryer, alas, but that I can live without!]

Also woke this morning to a solidified version of what I was attempting to explain to Ross on Friday. Two days late, but I'll take it for the next meeting. This time, I wrote it down.

I love my supervisor, can I just say?

Except not in a weird way. Entirely in a professional 'he is just awesome' way.

Plans. There are plans. So many plans! I love plans!

I hesitate to say this, because Fate doesn't like me all that much and just saying it on a blog might be enough that it never happens.

But Ross said there might be a chance for me to go to Denmark in November to meet with a prof and some of her phds for a few days...funded!

WEEEEEEEE!!!! As the prof is one I referenced in my last paper, this would be awesome. Also, Denmark. Also, FUNDED.

It so won't happen now, but I can dream (and wish and pray).

I...slightly, rescind. I was woken at 7:15 this morning to fireworks going off right behind my apartment complex. Followed by some of the loudest construction banging thus far.

So now I'm in a bad mood, and that's never good for writing. I have looked at my essay plan, made a rough estimate of word counts and decided my more realistic goal for the day, considering how I feel and that I have a dinner party tonight, is going to be 1300. Which is less than a NaNo day. So long as I do the main arguments tomorrow (2500) I have Sunday to write the proposal and edit. And we all know how long it doesn't take me to edit.

Also, Ross said it wasn't due until 5pm on Monday. Obviously I will send it before that, but I think 1pm is a good deadline. Gives me the morning for...issues.