The Philisophical Works of a Pseudo Author

Well, how about 'Summer has Spluttered'? No? Doesn't have the same ring? Well, fine, but it's true anyways.

Today it is sunny. Over twenty degrees. It is the first true, honest day of SUMMER that we have had since May 28th. Since it's July 22nd, I want all of you to think about that for a moment.

But, since it is nice outside, I can move on to other things.

Back into research and paper writing mode, which I dislike. I was so happy in May when I thought that that was it until the thesis! Ha! Should know Ross better by now. This paper doesn't have to be long, but it is the least interesting topic ever (research methods in humanities). Not finding much in the way of sources either, and even less for examples. Not fun! Will have to plow on starting tomorrow. And also get back to my ethics forms. At least I managed to email the people I was supposed to email last week. Even heard back from one of them. Things are progressing.

Writing on the fic front is not going well. I hit 5500, and I know I will get to 10k before the end of the month. Unfortunately, I still have 7 chapters left to write, so the number of words doesn't matter. The fact that it is almost physically painful to write is what matters. I only write fic when my characters are talking to me. Right now, they aren't even whispering, so writing conversation is just a lesson in agony. And it ends up sounding horrible. This fic will suck. Which annoys me, because I try to put my all into my work. But this year, I don't have time. Last fic for quite a while I think! How depressing.

Also, will be going to London August 2nd. Yes, that's right, I'm braving the Olympics. I have decided not to care if a)my train is delayed, b)the Tube isn't running or c)it rains. Just going to go, soak in the madness and enjoy.

I know the vast majority of you do not like Twilight. That's perfectly alright, because the video below does not require you to like it. In fact, it might be funnier if you don't!

Bella and Edward's Wedding Video:

Finally. I did manage to write 2000 words today that aren't awful -

STOP SLAMMING THE DAMN DOORS PEOPLE!!!

- but it was meant to be 3000. I sort of ran out of steam on constructivist theory, which, can you blame me? I can make it up later, or simply add something else to that section. There is research I did for this paper that so far isn't planned to be part of it. I might add it in later. Fixing the damn thing will be December 26-January 1st problem.

Preliminary plan to make a weekend trip down to Gillingham (Kent) in January to spend a few days at a nice B&B, visit a dear friend of my parents, and tour two museums that have been on my To Visit list for a while. Obviously, January is not ideal, but I'll take what I can get. It is, however, cheaper. Then it will be Germany and hockey! [And more museums].

So, the latest one was 13,000 and change. There was also the 6,000 one on the weekend. Everytime I think I know my daily word limit, Twilight surprises me. I think I'm starting to understand why the books are so long. SM probably couldn't stop. For which I can sympathise. Unfortunately, unlike SM, I'm not making money off of this and so would prefer it fill up less of my time. The world has definitely tilted if I write more than I read. It's not right.

The good weekend approacheth, but I have to get through the next 3 days first. Bugger that.

Oh, the Aunt deigned to email again, with a subject line instead of a body message, followed by a one line dig about Kindle. It's heartless, but after I get my Christmas presents from her, I'm not talking to her until Easter. Because I am just that much of a hypocrit. Thank you very much.

Has had my morning hilarity care of Peter Wingfield. The mental image of him sitting in an exam hall giggling will probably keep me going until my day ends at 7 tonight. Thank you Twitter! My life is so much more entertaining now that I can follow people I like.

Last night the 'ex' and I went to see Dave Gorman on stage. God that man made me laugh. He's clearly got his audience figured out. And the fact that he's WWW obsessed makes me want to figure out how to get a crack line about him into my thesis. We shall see. I was laughing so hard I was in tears for an hour.

Managed to cross about 6 books off my reading list on the basis of 'not relevant'. I feel so much better about my workload now and can actually take Sunday off! Which I'll need, because I have another 10 essays to mark starting on Monday. But...money!

I quite literally have 6 hours today of thingthingthingthingthing. Barely have time to run between! It's like being a student again OMG!

In other news, I'm going to have to cave and see Breaking Dawn again. Someone mentioned a scene to me yesterday and I responded 'wait, what happened?'. I really wish that I had an eidetic memory. It would also make this blasted reading easier! I was half way through a journal article yesterday before I realised I'd read it already! *headdesk*

I keep getting the nicest reviews on FF.net, which makes me paranoid and now I'm waiting for the stereotypical 'What the F*** is wrong with you? You suck!' one to balance them out. Oh Twilight fandom; if nothing else, you are a daily amusement.

Right, library. Office. Fair. Meeting. Seminar....dinner. Remember to eat dinner.

I'm still pissed about the lack of car. I wanted The Car! Not 'trying on shoes'; CAR. Not new black Volvo; NEW BLACK MERCEDES.

And I'd completely forgotten (probably intentionally) that I spent the first 5 minutes of the film going 'oh God damn it Edward, don't tell her. She doesn't care one way or another so don't ruin my happy mood!' And then there was a flashback and I was okay. Because, clearly, I'm a sucker for flashbacks.

I'm...going to go watch Top Gear and ignore that the movie is already up on for free.

This may be one of the more amusing images I've ever seen. Especially considering he really should be picking off the groom instead!

Hello Muse,

It's November and I therefore understand that you are chomping at the bit to write. I get that you're used to it and probably mad at me that you aren't being allowed 50,000 words to play with. I do understand.

But we had this conversation already this year. Actually we've had it twice and for exactly the same reason. So I don't really want to have it a third time. But since there are 4500 words sitting on my hard-drive right now that could constitute Part 1 of another multi-chapter Twilight fic, I feel I need to re-express myself.

I'm Not Interested..

You once destroyed a dissertation. You will NOT cost me my thesis. Understood?

And don't even think about Breaking Dawn next week. It ain't happening.

Not giving up,
Amy

ETA: Why do I always have to eat my words?

One of the other new students on a PhD degree is from the Pacific Northwest. Honestly, she's from Tacoma, but she says 'I'm from the Pacific Northwest' instead. Every time she says it I have to try really very hard to not laugh. And I did not ask her on day one 'You're not from Forks, are you?' so at least I'm not that far gone. But I might have thought about it...briefly. Yeah, I think it's a hell of a lot funnier than it is. But I haven't slept enough in two weeks and my head is pounding right now. So give me a break. But it's a little bit funny, right?

Her name is Kirstin and I just about called her Kristen yesterday.

Okay, so maybe I am that far gone.

'How strange, I really went to Italy. Did you know I'd never been farther east than Albuquerque?’ – Bella, New Moon

This story came about in one of those truly backward ways. It did not start out as a cross-country road trip with the trio of Edward, Bella and Carlisle. It started only as a ‘what if’ to the question of ‘what would have happened if Bella hadn’t ditched Jasper and Alice in Phoenix?’ The idea intrigued me. I had no notion of where it would go.

I’ll admit; I was just as shocked as the reader when Edward announced that Rosalie and Emmett had a loft in New York. From there, though, I was left with the question: how to get Bella back to Forks before Charlie threw a fit? And then she caught the flu. I didn’t really mean for that to happen. I mean, yes, I adore h/c stories and I write quite a few of them, but I swear I had no intention of landing her in a hospital in Montana. Even though you’ll probably tell me that throwing Carlisle on the plane from Phoenix was a complete set-up. It wasn’t. That’s canon, of a sort.

I took out Emmett for obvious reasons. James was lethal and leaving him to just Jasper and Alice seemed unfair. Likewise, letting Edward run off with Bella on his own seemed equally as stupid. If James caught up before anyone else, Edward would have been left to fight him on his own. [Of course, he manages that quite well in Twilight, but it never hurts to have help.]
I may have taken liberties with the car trip. Specifically the travel time between Cleveland and Chicago. It should not have taken Carlisle as long to drive that stretch as it did. Of course, to make up for it, I got them across North Dakota and most of Montana in about five seconds.

Montana just...happened. I knew they needed a delay before they hit Spokane. The rainstorm wrote itself and then obviously there had to be an accident. And then, clearly, there had to be a hospital involved, because why else would they need another 12 hours to get to Washington? What else was I supposed to do, I ask you? And then, suddenly, I had the perfect set-up for a few well-placed (and completely silly) lines about Edward and his medical degrees that I’d had rolling around in my brain for a few months. Perhaps my brain helpfully wrote a 43,000 word story just so I could use them.

I knew I wanted the story to end at Prom. I knew I had to get it there, but I didn’t want to just skip everything in between like Stephenie did. But obviously Bella needed to spend some quality time with the other Cullens too (except Rosalie) and become a true part of the family. So, yes, the shopping trip was contrived. It’s possibly the only part of this story that was done intentionally to get the plot to the next step. But it was pretty damn fun to research Seattle shopping malls and hotels. And the information is all accurate. From the mall, to the hotel, to the film that Alice and Bella see. And it’s all accurate for the spring of 2005 specifically. [Did you also know there is currently an exhibit on at the Seattle Art Gallery on the Quileute’s?]

The title was the very last thing to occur to me. For 43,000 words this story was named ‘Cross-country’ in my documents folder. I always planned on changing it, but couldn’t figure out a good name that didn’t really give the plot away. Then, out of the blue (like the whole story) I remembered that this was Twilight and that Bella had therefore never been further east than New Mexico (according to the book) and that suddenly taking a trip from Washington to Phoenix to DC to New York and then driving all the way back to Forks would be something rather significant for her. The title embodies the fact that this is new and an adventure for Bella. It implies travel and that most of the story takes place east of Albuquerque. The town in Montana, which is never named but is actually a real town called Livingston, is only about half way across the state and therefore only just west of the city of Albuquerque [Specifically, it is 3.8 degrees west]. So I fudged that one a bit; sue me.

I adored writing this story. Every second of it made me smile and feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It made my hand hurt like hell, because 35,000 words of it were done in pen rather than on the laptop. It’s so worth the carpal tunnel I will no doubt develop in a few years. [Though I can probably blame that on my doctoral thesis.] I just enjoyed writing this, and I don’t feel that way about most of my stories. I write them because I have to, not because I want to. It’s a fine distinction that many writers never get, but I know exactly how it feels. This was writing for joy, each and every word.

I hope you got as much pleasure out of reading it as I did out of writing it.

Eldanna, 2011