SGA Fanfic
Oct. 1st, 2007 04:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
windemereDisclaimer: Neither Stargate: Atlantis nor A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy are mine.
AN: Apologies to Douglas Adams, but he really is just that good. Warning: complete and utter crack fic. The title and summary are Kate's fault, as per usual.
Summary: It was a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day.
With Apologies to Douglas Adams
It can be said, in plain and very basic terms that in the beginning the universe was created. Of course, this amazing event was thereafter frowned upon as a generally bad move, and people were want to blame all of their troubles on the Big Bang. As if an unforeseen and purely accidental event could be blamed for the fact that a man in Surrey left his wife yesterday because he returned home from work to find her in a thoroughly uncomfortable looking position with his neighbor.
But people have almost always found it better to blame anyone else than themselves when things got a little hairy.
Now, for one, Dr. M. Rodney McKay, currently resident in the small and little known dwarf galaxy that someone in their stupendous idiocy had named Pegasus (as if a galaxy could sprout wings a fly), didn’t much hold to blaming cosmic events for his life problems when people were more plentiful and thoroughly more satisfying to yell at.
Which was exactly what was happening on this perfect summer’s day with a warm sea breeze wafting up from the ocean through the open window that someone (who would soon be regretting ever having been born) had opened. Seeing as it was already late morning, and the good Doctor had already partaken of his fifth cup of the caffeinated beverage that earthlings insist on calling coffee, he was in quite fine form.
Of course, because the Laws of the Universe – which were many and varied and mostly completely misunderstood – were always fond of choosing the most particularly inopportune moments to exact their revenge, the Doctor’s long and very beautiful monologue on the stupidity of his underlings was unfortunately cut rather short by the sudden and utter destruction of the planet on which he stood.
But as anyone who has ever had the momentous privilege of stepping through a Stargate will tell you, such things are not always as they seem.
Certainly the planet seemingly vanished into nothingness, but in a truly miraculous moment, the great shield that protected the city from all manner of nasty things activated of its own accord and thus saved the only flying city in existence from a rather horrible fate.
Without doubt, if not for this singular event, the poor underling to whom the Doctor had taken such affront would surely have soon thrown himself off the nearest balcony to the turbid waters below in a sudden and desperate attempt to save himself from his brain combusting. As it was, the sudden (and catastrophic it may be said) event had such a profound impact on the Doctor, that he instantly forgot the poor underling and everyone else who had ever worked for him.
Accordingly (if for a moment you dared to think that this event was the worst thing that happened today), some four galaxies over a baby hrugul was torn to pieces in front of its mother by a rabid and thoroughly vicious kroon. Afterwards the mother killed herself by jumping off the nearest cliff because she couldn’t bear the thought of living without her offspring.
But since Dr. McKay was not aware of this simply awful event some five hundred kiloparsecs away, he chose (rightly) to believe that he was having the worst day of anyone in the whole universe.
He had no idea, of course, that it was about to get worse. Such foresight is forbidden to the lower races because they would utterly destroy themselves attempting to change that which cannot be changed.
Not that that had ever stopped Rodney McKay.
AN: Apologies to Douglas Adams, but he really is just that good. Warning: complete and utter crack fic. The title and summary are Kate's fault, as per usual.
Summary: It was a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day.
With Apologies to Douglas Adams
It can be said, in plain and very basic terms that in the beginning the universe was created. Of course, this amazing event was thereafter frowned upon as a generally bad move, and people were want to blame all of their troubles on the Big Bang. As if an unforeseen and purely accidental event could be blamed for the fact that a man in Surrey left his wife yesterday because he returned home from work to find her in a thoroughly uncomfortable looking position with his neighbor.
But people have almost always found it better to blame anyone else than themselves when things got a little hairy.
Now, for one, Dr. M. Rodney McKay, currently resident in the small and little known dwarf galaxy that someone in their stupendous idiocy had named Pegasus (as if a galaxy could sprout wings a fly), didn’t much hold to blaming cosmic events for his life problems when people were more plentiful and thoroughly more satisfying to yell at.
Which was exactly what was happening on this perfect summer’s day with a warm sea breeze wafting up from the ocean through the open window that someone (who would soon be regretting ever having been born) had opened. Seeing as it was already late morning, and the good Doctor had already partaken of his fifth cup of the caffeinated beverage that earthlings insist on calling coffee, he was in quite fine form.
Of course, because the Laws of the Universe – which were many and varied and mostly completely misunderstood – were always fond of choosing the most particularly inopportune moments to exact their revenge, the Doctor’s long and very beautiful monologue on the stupidity of his underlings was unfortunately cut rather short by the sudden and utter destruction of the planet on which he stood.
But as anyone who has ever had the momentous privilege of stepping through a Stargate will tell you, such things are not always as they seem.
Certainly the planet seemingly vanished into nothingness, but in a truly miraculous moment, the great shield that protected the city from all manner of nasty things activated of its own accord and thus saved the only flying city in existence from a rather horrible fate.
Without doubt, if not for this singular event, the poor underling to whom the Doctor had taken such affront would surely have soon thrown himself off the nearest balcony to the turbid waters below in a sudden and desperate attempt to save himself from his brain combusting. As it was, the sudden (and catastrophic it may be said) event had such a profound impact on the Doctor, that he instantly forgot the poor underling and everyone else who had ever worked for him.
Accordingly (if for a moment you dared to think that this event was the worst thing that happened today), some four galaxies over a baby hrugul was torn to pieces in front of its mother by a rabid and thoroughly vicious kroon. Afterwards the mother killed herself by jumping off the nearest cliff because she couldn’t bear the thought of living without her offspring.
But since Dr. McKay was not aware of this simply awful event some five hundred kiloparsecs away, he chose (rightly) to believe that he was having the worst day of anyone in the whole universe.
He had no idea, of course, that it was about to get worse. Such foresight is forbidden to the lower races because they would utterly destroy themselves attempting to change that which cannot be changed.
Not that that had ever stopped Rodney McKay.
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no subject
Date: 2007-10-01 06:10 pm (UTC)Are you writing chapter two then?
no subject
Date: 2007-10-01 06:57 pm (UTC)Chapter three is possing problems. As I have no idea where this fic is going. Also, there's times I loose the language and then have to rewrite. This is HARD!
no subject
Date: 2007-10-02 09:49 pm (UTC)WP
no subject
Date: 2007-10-03 08:39 am (UTC)