Just had to share this with you all:

This is the funniest thing I've ever read. Shamelessly stolen from Cassie's LJ, I'm sorry.

Is this the week of right-wing fundamentalist fucktards, or what? I had the following exchange with some complete idiot who kept sending me emails all day today - and yes, I know, I shouldn't have responded, but sometimes, you just kind of have to.

LegolasLover2x@aol.com: How dare you!

Me: How dare I what?

LL2X: How dare you suggest such a thing! I am outraged!

Me: You're going to have to be a bit more specific. Is this a LOTR or Harry Potter-related outrage?

LL2X How dare you suggest that Ian McKellan is gay!

Me: Ian McKellan *is* gay.

LL2X: He is not!

Me: *sends link to Advocate interview with Ian McKellan*

LL2X: You are aware that most of the Media they put out on Actors and Actresses that say something mean about them is really false, nothing but a lie aren't you?

Me: *sends link to Ian McKellan's webpage* *links to DVD commentary* *links to picture of him being Grand Marshal at Gay Pride parade* *so on ad infinitum*

LL2X: Fine maybe he is gay but Legolas is not gay! How dare you say he was gay!

Me: What? Oh. The VSD's. They're a joke. Besides, for all we know, he was gay.

LL2X: He was not gay! He was an elf!

Me: I think we can all agree that's pretty gay.

LL2X: It is not! Elves are pure!

Me: And, like a straight Ian McKellan, completely mythical. Find me the passage in LOTR where Legolas says "I am not gay." Go on, find it. Take as much time as you like.

LLX2: He was not gay and I am very upset with you and so are the members of my church! You will be very upset when they start spreading the word!

Me: The word of what?

LL2X: That you think Legolas is gay!

Me: I think this is already pretty well known about me. But feel free.

LL2X: Aren't you afraid of Hell?

Me: Did you find that passage about Legolas not being gay yet? I think it was in the Silmarillion.

LL2X: See I told you he was not gay!

Me: And you were so right. Look, here's the passage. *sends link to Legolas/Aragorn NC-17 pr0n* I am sure you will enjoy reading it.

LL2X: Thanks.

Me: Not a problem.

::falls off chair::

Taken from the Mark Ferguson Yahoo!Group...of which I am shamelessly a member.

From: Mark

I am soooooooooo sorry I've been neglecting you, my beauteous
Elven princesses but your King has been busy. Not only have i
been shooting a new series of "Spin Doctors" but I've been
managing and MC'ing a big conference in Nelson (look it up, it' s
lovely)

Firstly, thank you all, so much, for your kind wishes on my
birthday, they meant a lot to me.
But you are right to chastise me, I promise I won't stay away too
long, from now on...I know I've said that before...but I'll try really
hard, this time.
The big news is, I am returning to Ringcon. I can't wait, and I
hope to meet as many of you as possible while I'm there.

The other opportunity is "The Gathering of the Fellowship" in
Toronto. I've never been to Canada, which is shameful because
my best friend is from there. Anyway, at the moment I'm talking to
the organizers about that one. Do you think there would be
enough interest to warrant me going to it?

So, thanks for hanging in there...I know I can be a difficult,
naughty, forgetful...and yes, sometimes even grumpy Elven King,
but I mean well and I genuinely value your support.

See you soon...somewhere

::tries not to die happy right now:: Still on cloud nine right now. Don't mind me...I'll go off to cry becuase I can't go.