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Disclaimer: Neither Stargate: Atlantis nor The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy are mine.

AN: Part Five. Nope, no idea. I am also unhappy with this, but despite two re-writes, I just can’t get it to sound more Adams-y. I’ll do better next time.

“Is he right?” The Colonel asked in a voice full of disbelief. His second-in-command looked mildly affronted at this. It’s not like he’d never had a brilliant idea before.

“Yes.” The word is strangled and whispered and it looked like it actually caused the Doctor pain to manage it.

“Theoretically or practically?”

Doctor Weir helpfully glared at Sheppard so that Doctor McKay did not have to.

“Just wondering,” he amended.

“Yes.” This time the word is clearly spoken. “According to the information I’ve been able to glean from the sensor readings, computer data and all those other lovely systems the Ancients so helpfully designed. The Ancients, bless their little meddling hearts, managed to engineer something that acts like a quantum mirror except on a scale so vast it’s like nothing we ever even imagined before. It really shouldn’t be possible.”

Doctor McKay was rather fond of this last sentence. He was often heard reciting it in regards to anything that he did not fully understand or had not thought of first. Mostly it was the second option.

“But it clearly is, so perhaps we can move past that?”

“Yes. Quite. Now, if I am indeed correct – ”

“Hey,” the Major interjected. “I was the one who said it!” No one paid him any mind.

“ – and of course I am, there should be some way to reverse it. Of course, the problem is that I cannot be completely certain how it was activated in the first place. If someone’s been pressing buttons they shouldn’t have (a side look at his own second-in-command who had so far been absolutely useless) or thinking thoughts they shouldn’t have (a pointed glare towards the Colonel who pretended to look innocent) then it’s probably just as likely to happen again.”

“But if we can reverse it once, we can do it again. It we need to.”

“Theoretically.” The Doctor sounded resigned as he said it.

John Sheppard looked smug.

“Thank you, Doctor McKay. I suggest you and your team get to work on the problem immediately, then. I’ll inform the city to kindly not panic. We should have this all sorted out in a few hours, correct?” It was said in such a way as to leave no doubt in anyone’s mind that the problem would indeed be all sorted in a few hours or there would be hell to pay.

“Yes. Give me...3 hours. No problem.” Which meant, of course, that there would be one.
The good Doctor and his highest ranking disciple scrambled from the room.

“So, we should have a back-up plan, right?” The Colonel asked.

The look Doctor Weir threw him clearly stated that he’d asked the obvious again. He should really stop doing that.

“I’ll get to work on that then.” The Colonel and Major both fled the room at roughly the same pace as the two doctors had just vacated it.

“I am certain everything will be just fine,” their resident alien ambassador helpfully put in.

“I’m sure,” Doctor Weir returned in a voice that left little doubt that she was in fact sure of the exact opposite. And the day had started off so promisingly.

“So, we’re screwed?” The two women looked towards the last man standing.

“Ronon, I couldn’t have put it better myself.”

“Uh, excuse me ma’am,” the current tech support appeared at the door. “Major Newton’s due to check in in a few minutes. What should I tell him ma’am?”

Their leader sighed.

“Whatever you like, Chuck. Just don’t tell him we lost the planet.”

Date: 2008-01-14 05:45 pm (UTC)
ext_1358: (Default)
From: [identity profile]
That last line kills me. So you know.

Also, I think it's desperately unfair that the line "Dinosaurs turning into birds throretically or Theory of Relativity theoretically" is already taken. It is quite Adamsian.

Date: 2008-01-14 08:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Hense the suckiness of this chapter. All the goods lines were gone.


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