Introducing Russell T. Dalek

[windemere]

It was later considered a blessing that Thor had not been on Earth at the time.

Had he been, it was very likely that the Dalek wouldn’t have survived more than a few minutes after it encountered the God of Thunder. It was more than likely, actually, since Russell didn’t survive more than a few minutes, but since that happened weeks after the toy’s introduction to the rest of the team, at least they all got to spend a bit of time with the little guy.

Which basically meant that Tony got to spend a lot of time with the little guy and everyone else, baring Clint, ignored the thing. Clint seemed to think it was equal parts funny, ridiculous and very, very entertaining. Natasha had nearly knocked the thing off the kitchen counter over which Russell was hovering inside the first two seconds after it took off. Steve had just been very, very confused, which was his default setting where modern pop culture was concerned.

‘I don’t get it,’ he finally said, staring at the thing with a certain amount of curiosity and hesitation.

‘Did you sleep through the DW marathon last week? Because I could swear I remember you asking questions every five minutes,’ Tony told him, one eye firmly fixed on Natasha’s slow perusal of his new pet.

‘No, I get it’s a....small version of those pepper pot things –’

Tony giggled very loudly, looked for the briefest second embarrassed by the fact, and then clearly decided it was too funny to matter. ‘I....am...*giggle*...so tell...ing Pep that!’

‘What, they looked like pepper pots, okay,’ Steve said, immediately on the defensive.

‘They do,’ Clint agreed from his position against the counter. It seemed like he was trying to entice Russell to come a little closer, but since he was standing beside Natasha, the AI in the Dalek was clearly smart enough to stay away.  Never let it be said computers couldn’t have self-preservation abilities. Even JARVIS knew better than to annoy Natasha on anything other than her best days. Which were never.

‘So, yes, it’s a small pepper pot – which we call a Dalek in geek-speak – and which is now so much better than that cheap crap people buy their kids from toyland.’

‘So it’s for kids?’

Tony gave him his signature ‘exasperated with Captain Rogers’ look.

‘No, it’s for me. Like I’d give a kid something with Stark technology in it?  I’m not just giving that stuff away.’

‘You built yourself a toy. That’s normally for children?’

Tony gave him his ‘I’ve given up on Captain America’ look. Steve, in turn, gave up.

‘I think it’s pretty cool,’ Clint cut in. The Dalek had edged a full foot closer to the archer, but Natasha hadn’t taken her eyes off it.

‘If you kill him,’ Tony told her, ‘I will e—’ he broke off at the look on her face. ‘I will be very unhappy,’ he finished, putting the kitchen counter between them.  The assassin smirked. ‘And yes, it’s very ‘cool’,’ he agreed with Barton.

‘Does he do anything more than hover?’

‘Oh yeah!’ Tony announced. ‘Russell!’ The Dalek turned towards him. ‘You see that light up there?’ he pointed to one of the pot lights above the counter. The Dalek rotated its senor upwards to the ceiling. ‘Give it a go, buddy.’

A beat passed. All four adults stood on opposite sides of the large square marble counter, waiting. Suddenly there was a low whine, similar to the sound the Iron Man suit made right before it fired and, sure enough, a small little burst of energy issued from the Dalek’s arm and the light exploded.

Clint whooped.  Natasha had a gun drawn from who knew where. Steve had taken a full step back in surprise. Tony clapped.

‘That is so much better than cool,’ Barton decided.

‘Right?’ Tony agreed, grinning with glee.

The next time they all encountered a similar situation, a few weeks later when Thor returned to Earth, went very, very differently. Unfortunately for Tony. And Russell.

And because I'm feeling generous today:




Bruce quickly got used to the fact that where Tony went, Russell followed. Somewhere about day four, the two of them – man and....tiny Dalek – had shown up in his lab and Russell had been hovering a full foot above the ground. Clearly Tony had turned the power up.

‘What, exactly, is powering that thing?’ Bruce hesitated to ask.

‘What do you think? Palladium may be poisonous to me, but it isn’t to Russell. A mini arc reactor will power him until the end of time.’

‘Wonderful,’ Bruce said; because it was what Tony wanted to hear and because it stood in for his actual response of ‘what the hell were you thinking?’

‘So, it – he, flies, shoots out pot lights and talks?’

Tony shrugged. ‘Well that’s pretty much all a real Dalek can do anyways.’

They both suitably ignored the use of the word ‘real’ in that sentence.

‘He responds to voice commands; shouts when you poke him; can follow me around; and knows to stay away from Romanoff. I think that’s a pretty big achievement.’

‘Even small babies know to stay away from Natasha,’ the doctor comment dryly. Hell, even the Other Guy knew to stay away from her most of the time.

‘Yeah, that was an image I didn’t need,’ Tony wrinkled his face like he’d just eaten something particularly unappetising.

Bruce changed the topic. ‘When is Pepper back?’

The billionaire-genius-playboy-philanthropist brightened immediately. ‘Tonight. There was some delay at a meeting or something in Seattle...I wasn’t listening. She’ll be back for a late dinner. I specifically heard her use the word ‘dinner’,’ he concluded, looking inordinately proud that he had managed to get that much out of the conversation with his girlfriend.

‘I can cook. It’s been a while since we did proper meal together. You know, all of us.’

It was true. In fact, it was probably the last time Thor was on Earth, but since he wasn’t around, they’d have to make do with the rest of them. Besides, taking Thor out of the mix made cooking a lot less of a chore, mostly because it involved cooking enough for each person and not enough for an army.

‘Hey, Pep likes curry. You need anything? I can run to the store.’

There was a very long pause at that.

Bruce blinked.

‘Or, send someone to the store,’ Tony corrected. ‘Or Happy can drive you to the store.’

‘Happy went with Pepper,’ Bruce explained patiently.

Tony looked confused. ‘Did he? I swore he drove me to that meeting with Fury a few days...oh, no, that was last week. Never mind. I didn’t go to the meeting with Fury on Tuesday.’

‘EXTERMINATE!’ Russell shouted.

Bruce blinked again. ‘Did you programme him to shout whenever you mentioned Fury’s name?’

Tony had the grace not to answer the rhetorical question.

‘I’ll run out to the store in a bit. There’s that international supermarket a few blocks away. I think I can manage that on my own,’ the doctor assured him.

‘Course you can!’ Tony said, a little too loudly. ‘It’s just...you know...recognition and all that. Cameras flashing. It’s not good. I mean, I like it, but not sure the Big Green is really into all that fanfare stuff.’

Bruce rose from his desk, walking passed Tony and – though he wouldn’t admit it – giving Russell a good foot of extra space. ‘I can manage shopping. I’ll wear sunglasses and a hat if it makes you feel better.’

‘Or I could come with?’ Tony asked. It sounded like part suggestion, part question and part hopeful.

‘You really are bored these days, aren’t you? No minions in R&D to terrorise? Senators to annoy? SHEILD systems to hack?’

Tony levelled him a sharp look. ‘It’s three in the afternoon Bruce. How long, exactly, do you think it takes me to do all of that?’

Which didn’t need an answer either.

‘Right. Grocery shopping it is.’ He turned around at the door to see the smile on Tony’s face. ‘But you are not bringing Russell.’

The smile disappeared. ‘Why not?’

But Bruce had already disappeared through the lab’s door.